Heart's Desire Read online

  “Sorry, boy,” she murmured, relaxing her fingers and dropping her hand. No sense in taking her aggravation with Nathan and Bailey, or herself, out on the horse.

  “Which direction are we heading?” Nathan moved his animal alongside her, looking around at the dark pasture. “This isn’t exactly someplace I’d like to get lost.”

  A day ago, she’d have liked to have him get lost in order to avoid dealing with him. Now, with his western attire, five o’clock shadow, and seated on a horse, he looked like he’d been born on a ranch. Thoughts of getting lost with him suddenly seemed almost tempting. “I’m taking you to The Ridge. We let guests camp there overnight. You’ll understand why soon.”

  He tipped his chin down, eyeing her suspiciously. “We’re camping? I have to admit, it’s not something I ever did growing up but—”

  “You’ve never been camping?” She interrupted him, shocked. She’d spent most of her childhood sleeping under the stars with her siblings and their father.

  He shook his head. “My family isn’t really the ‘camping’ kind.” He ran a palm over his thigh and shifted in the saddle, looking uncertain.

  She laughed quietly. “Relax, Wall Street, I’m not going to molest you up here. You’re not that irresistible.”

  He looked taken aback for a moment, but a slow smile spread over his lips and made her nervous. “So you do find me somewhat irresistible?”

  Jessie shifted in the saddle and pressed her lips together in a thin line. She hadn’t meant it that way.

  Nathan chuckled, giving her a wink. “Don’t worry, darlin’,” he drawled playfully, his voice husky. “The feeling is mutual.”

  She frowned as her stomach flipped again and tingles spiraled through her entire lower half. She knew he was only teasing, but a part of her worried at how easily he’d been able to read her thoughts.

  “Shut up.”

  She wasn’t sure if she was talking to him or the voice in her head suggesting all sorts of ideas for a memorable night on The Ridge. She tapped the horse’s side, urging him into a jog, knowing Nathan’s gelding would follow suit. Grady, old as he was, broke into a bouncy trot and she couldn’t help but grin as Nathan was jarred in the saddle, nearly coming down on the saddle horn as he pulled Grady to a stop.

  “Hey! This is not fun!” he yelled as his horse fell behind. “Are you listening?”

  Jessie slowed her gelding to match Grady’s slower pace. Nathan glared at her, arching a brow. “I’m not going to admit I deserved that but, let’s just say, this saddle horn almost gelded me. Truce?” Nathan held out his right hand to her.

  “Truce,” she agreed. “For now.”

  NATHAN WATCHED JESSIE as they rode. At first, she’d seemed irritated with Bailey’s insinuations that she was trying to seduce him, not that he’d helped much, adding in his own innuendos. But he really couldn’t help it. Watching her today, then spending the evening with her, had reminded him of why he’d been so taken with her when he’d stayed on the ranch before. Not only was she irresistible, it was actually fun to see her thrown off-kilter for a change.

  Nathan had never intended to hurt Jessie. From the first moment he and Justin arrived on the ranch for summer break before their senior year of college, Nathan could barely keep his eyes off Jess. She’d just celebrated her high school graduation. She was innocent, beautiful, and full of hope for her future. The first time he’d kissed her at the river, he’d been sure he’d lost his mind. It launched a whirlwind of yearning unlike anything he’d ever felt with anyone before.

  As soon as he and Justin returned to college, his father had called him, furious. Nathan had no idea how he’d found out about Jessie, but it wouldn’t be the first time his father had hired an investigator to follow his children. It wasn’t uncommon for senators to keep tabs on their families that way, especially his father. When his father pointed out how dangerous a relationship with a nobody would be for his reelection campaign, Nathan had argued. When he pressed on, insisting Nathan would damage his latest run for office and that it would cause a media circus if the tabloids found out he was slumming with some cowgirl, he balked but remained firm. It wasn’t until his father threatened to destroy the Hart family’s reputation if he ever returned to the ranch that Nathan took him seriously. A few casual calls to the press, and Jessie would be on the front page of every tabloid in the country, branded the whore, her family gold diggers set on luring wealthy men to blackmail and create scandal. And so he’d set aside his future with Jessie, to protect her.

  Little did Nathan know that his father was more concerned with covering up his own offshore accounts, where he was hiding campaign funds, than with his son’s love life. It wasn’t until Nathan started his own financial consulting practice that his father had asked him to falsify the campaign contributions and join the “family business.”

  Learning the truth about his family too late—the unconventional and illegal parameters his father operated within—Nathan regretted his decision. He should have told his father to go to hell sooner. Jessie would have. She’d have stood up to anyone who tried to keep them apart and let the consequences be damned. He wondered what life would’ve been like if he’d made a different choice. Where would he have landed if his father had cut him off and he’d been forced to drop out of college? Would he have come back to the ranch to be with her? Would he have confessed his feelings for her to Justin and her father? He deplored the coward he’d been, but he’d convinced himself over the years that her feelings for him were nothing more than a fleeting summer romance.

  How was it possible that she was single? He studied her long, tapered fingers curled around the reins, gently directing the huge beast with the slightest motion. She was incredibly smooth in her movements, focusing on the powerful animal completely subdued between her thighs. He was trying to ignore the longing but, so far, watching the dark waves of her hair cascade down her back as her hips rocked in the saddle had been torture for him. He’d never had trouble cooling off his libido before, and the thought of what Justin would do to him should have been enough to freeze even the hottest desire.

  A small smile tipped up the corners of her mouth, and even in the moonlight, there was a joy and pride shining in her eyes as they took in her surroundings. The glow from the nearly full moon reflected in her face, highlighting the pure satisfaction he could read there. She loved this place. There was no doubt in his mind that running this ranch, helping these horses, and mentoring these kids was as much as part of Jessie as the oxygen she breathed and the blood flowing through her veins.

  She held up a hand, pointing ahead, and interrupted his appraisal. “Right there. See?”

  Nathan followed the direction of her finger and could make out the trail traveling up to a cliff that hung high over a wide river. The sound of the water crashing over rocks nearby created a melody with the soft clomp of the horses’ hooves. He followed her up the short path until it ended in a wide meadow on a rocky ledge dotted with several pine trees. She dismounted and reached for Grady’s reins, leading the horses to a pipe corral. “This is where we’ll stop.”

  He followed her lead, dismounting, surprised by how tight the rarely used muscles in his inner thighs were already feeling.

  She untied the blanket from the back of the saddle. “Are you cold?” she asked. “Bailey sent sweatshirts.”

  “I’m fine. Do you need help?” He watched her, feeling a bit useless, knowing this certainly wasn’t his most gallant moment as she attended to the animals alone. He massaged his legs with his hands, feeling like an idiot but unsure how to help.

  “Nope.” She loosened the saddles and tied the horses in the corral before walking toward him with the blankets.

  He could read the sudden insecurity in her face, surprised to see her reveal the emotion as she spread the blankets near the rocky edge and sat down. “You sure you don’t want a jacket?” she asked. “I mean, we won’t stay too long but . . . ”

  It was unseasonably warm for this par
t of California, but even if that hadn’t been the case, watching her ride had created a fire in him already threatening to burn out of control. “No, I’m good.”

  The rasp in his voice surprised him, and she stared at him a moment longer than necessary. He didn’t want her to even suspect the thoughts going through his mind right now. He cleared his throat. “This is incredible. Why didn’t we ever come up here?”

  His voice held every bit of the awe he felt. The location was what dreams were made of. He walked past a central fire pit to the wooden fence lining the edge of the cliff. While it provided safety, they’d been careful to make it blend with the surroundings. Pine scented the night air as the moon hung, huge and bright in the sky, illuminating the white caps of the river crashing over rocks below. The sound of the water created a symphony with the rest of the night—a slight breeze rustling through the trees, frogs and crickets, a rustle of birds high in the trees above, and the haunting call of an owl.

  A slight click, like something dropping behind him, made him jump and turn. “What was that?”

  She leaned back on the blanket, staring up at the stars, and folded her arms under her head, as if she didn’t have a care in the world. “Probably a squirrel—or a mouse.” She tipped her chin, glancing back to where he stood, still staring into the darkness where the horses relaxed. “Calm down, Wall Street. This is where you unwind and see what the city can’t offer you. The horses will alert us if it’s anything worth worrying about.”

  He watched the woman lying prone on the blanket, staring up the night sky. “Like what? A mountain lion ready to pounce?”

  The sound of her laughter was rich and sweet as he edged toward the blanket, still listening for wildlife behind them. Just the throaty sound made him think of those full lips of hers again, and heat pooled, deep and unwelcome, in the pit of his loins.

  He needed to put some distance between them emotionally as well. He was in trouble if getting mauled by a wild animal sounded preferable to the longing he was feeling for her again. He lay down on the blanket next her, trying to keep as much room between them as the small blanket allowed. He clasped his hands over his abs to keep from touching her again, reminding himself that he’d made the right decision for everyone when he’d cut ties with her. His family, the world he lived in, would rip her to shreds, and he couldn’t do that to her, no matter how much he wanted her. Loving Jessie was a youthful fantasy he needed to bury again.

  She turned her face toward him and smiled before looking back at the sky. “Bet you can’t find something like this in the city.”

  His brows arched on his forehead. “No, I have to agree with you on that. It’s definitely beautiful.” His eyes never left her face, but she wasn’t looking at him.

  Jessie pointed up at the stars. “Somewhere . . . there. Right there is the Big Dipper.”

  He followed her gaze into the night sky, awed at how brilliant the stars were. It was an amazing sight. Pinpoints of light dotted the sky, more than he’d ever seen before. The inky sky looked like it went on forever.

  “You’re away from any other lights so there’s nothing to dim them.” She turned her head toward him and he realized he’d spoken aloud.

  “If you watch, you’ll see lots of shooting stars, too. You don’t see many in the city.”

  “I don’t think I’ve ever noticed any.”

  “You’re kidding!”

  “I told you, I wasn’t exactly raised in a family that spent a lot of time outdoors.” He frowned as he thought about his father and his relentless pursuit of financial success, no matter what the cost. “Or together, for that matter. My father would call this frivolous.”

  “Huh.” Jessie sounded surprised by his admission.

  Nathan turned to face her. “What?”

  Jessie shrugged and raised her brows. “I would have thought you’d have it all. The house, the car, the money, the education. But you don’t sound like . . . never mind, I shouldn’t have said anything.”

  “What were you going to say?” he urged.

  “You just sounded nostalgic. Like you would have given it all up for something else.”

  Nathan felt the twist of pain in his stomach as he looked back at the sky with an acerbic laugh. “You have no idea.”

  She looked up at the sky again. “You never talked about your family much.”

  “There’s not a lot to talk about.” That wasn’t really true. He could tell her about the various crimes his father had been charged with over the years, how his mother and sister were both stuck in marriages of convenience rather than love. Love. He’d come to wonder if the word even really meant anything. It seemed more like trite expression. Suddenly, a burst of blue light flashed across the sky, fizzling out quickly.

  “Did you make a wish?” she asked, excitedly.

  “A wish?”

  She turned to face him, rolling onto her side, bracing her cheek on her palm. “You’re supposed to make a wish when you see a shooting star. You really did miss out growing up, didn’t you?”

  A sad smile slipped over her lips, and Nathan Kerrington, financial analyst to millionaire CEOs, a man used to riding in limos, eating caviar, drinking Cristal champagne, and addressing boardrooms, was struck speechless as her thick-lashed, deep blue eyes filled with innocent wonder met his. His years of business success, each dollar in his bank account and every rung he’d climbed up the corporate ladder seemed worthless compared to the unadulterated sorrow he saw in her face for his pitiful childhood. She knew a contentment and security, just in being a Hart, he’d never be able to comprehend. She had shared her pride in her family, something he’d never understood existed. Until now.

  “Make a wish, Nathan.” Her voice was sweet, tender, and mildly amused.

  Suddenly, the only thing he could think about was Jessie and the mistake he’d made eight years ago. The cold logic that seemed to rule his every decision, in business and relationships, failed him, evaporating into the night sky by way of a shooting star. His hand found the silken curve of her neck as the inches between them disappeared. Rolling to hover over her, Nathan dipped his head, his lips finally finding hers, taking her mouth hostage as he’d thought about doing all day. He forgot the differences between them, his father’s threats, the reasons this couldn’t work, and the excuses he wanted to make to keep from touching her. All he knew was the uncontrollable need, held prison for the last eight years, finally set free to course through his veins.

  His entire life had been ruled by self-control, logic, and order. Jessie scattered all three to the wind, making him wonder if all the things his discipline had gained him over the years weren’t simply cheap imitations, his family’s impressions of what his life should be.

  She opened under him, soft and warm, her kiss vibrant and filled with life, like a lightning storm, so very much like the woman in his memories. Jessie held nothing back, as if every second was a celebration of life, and her fingers curled into the flesh of his triceps. His hands slid over her shoulder, down her arm bared by her short sleeves, feeling goosebumps break out over her flesh, and filling him with yearning to see what other reactions he could cause in her. She sighed softly into his mouth and arched against him.

  Nathan had never known a woman to respond with such abandon. He realized he shouldn’t have expected anything less. It was how Jessie did everything.

  And it scared him.

  JESSIE WASN’T SURE how she ended up kissing Nathan, but she wasn’t about to question it. One minute they were looking up at the stars, the next she was under him with his hand on her waist, his knee parting her thighs, and hers fingers gripping his solid arms, unwilling to let him go. She couldn’t fathom what part of her brain thought it was a good idea to continue letting Nathan kiss her; although at this moment, she couldn’t think of anything else she’d rather do. She felt like she’d been transported back in time, except the first time they’d kissed, Nathan hadn’t been this muscular, and she had gotten her heart broken. In typical Hart woma
n fashion, Jessie let her emotions carry her along, ignoring the consequences, knowing she would deal with the repercussions later.

  Even though she didn’t want to think about them right now, the worries swirled through her mind like a stirred hornet’s nest. Nathan had broken her heart once before, he was sure to do it again. As much as she hated what he’d done, she’d never quite stopped loving him and hoping he’d come back.

  She needed to remain focused on saving the ranch. Nathan was a distraction she didn’t need now. Rekindling her relationship with Nathan was the last thing she needed to do.

  When he sucked at her lower lip, she sighed and all the nagging worries and questions scattered, leaving only sensation behind. Jessie arched against him. When his tongue licked at the corner of her mouth, teasing her lips apart, toying with her, Jessie’s hands slid over his broad shoulders to the nape of his neck, drawing him to her fully. She plunged her tongue into his mouth. She’d never been a patient woman, and Nathan’s touch sent her reeling. It might prove to be her worst idea ever, but she wanted Nathan Kerrington, consequences be damned.

  As her tongue danced with his, she pulled at his shirt, tugging at the snaps on the front, eager to feel the warmth of his skin under her palms. His hands moved up to her ribcage, and she felt his thumb trace the curve of her breast. Her entire body seemed to burn from within, pleasure cresting through her in waves, making her limbs tingle. He groaned against her lips, and she felt his fingers clench at her sides even as he began to ease himself from her.

  No! Her body cried out like a petulant child.

  She slid her hands to his lower back and arched against him again, feeling his erection against her thigh but unwilling to release him and face reality. If he moved away now, she was going to have to face the results of her recklessness, and she’d much rather not face that disgrace just yet. If ever.

  Nathan withdrew but only slightly, his lips moved to her jaw, trailing kisses over the hollow of her throat, along the outer shell of her ear. Jessie shivered against him.