Heart's Desire Page 4

  Nathan pulled aside one of the curtains to peer out the front window. Jessie had turned her face toward the cabin, as if she was looking directly at him. There was a slight frown marring her forehead, pinching her brows together, and he wondered if his presence had caused it. When she wasn’t biting his head off, fuming with anger, she was beautiful. She gathered her hair to one side, tucking stray locks behind her ear and brushing several strands from her eyes as the wind tossed them around her face. Even from this distance, he could see the sadness that haunted her blue eyes. It hadn’t been there before.

  “You think she’s telling the truth?”

  “Why wouldn’t I? We’re not the kind of family that keeps secrets.”

  Nathan felt his heart lurch. Justin had no idea the secret she’d kept from him. Justin rose and walked behind him. Nathan clenched his hand around the beer bottle, every instinct pressing him to confess the truth to his friend.

  Justin followed his gaze and laughed, slapping his shoulder before heading toward the door. “You’d better not fall for my sister, man. She’ll chew you up and spit you out.” Waves of guilt washed over him again. “And when she got finished with you, I’d have to kick your ass. Besides, I thought you liked your women tall, leggy, and skinny as a stick—or is that just for the tabloids? Now come on. If we’re late, Julia is going to have my hide.”

  “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you’re the one afraid of your sisters.” Nathan shot his friend a smirk.

  “I’m not stupid.” Justin rolled his eyes. “Of course I’m afraid of them. You should be too, for that matter. Between those two and Bailey, I swore off women a long time ago. Females are too hard to please.”

  Nathan laughed as he followed his friend to the main house. No matter how much time passed or how different their circumstances seemed on the surface, they still got along like college roommates, bonded over their mutual desire to change the world. For Justin that meant healing animals. For Nathan it meant reviving struggling businesses.

  At least one of them had remained optimistic about life, because Nathan sure wasn’t that same idealistic, pie-eyed kid he’d been when he left Heart Fire Ranch. His father had made sure of that.

  JESSIE SET THE rake against the wall and turned off the barn lights. She swiped her arm over her forehead, grimacing when it came away sweaty. Great, now there was probably dirt smeared across her face.

  It was hot and muggy, even at this late hour with the moon high in the sky. The weather had her feeling irritable. Or maybe it was the pig-headed chauvinist in the cabin a few feet away. A house full of company didn’t help either. She was on edge, and getting out of the house to clean stalls provided her with an excuse to escape the chaos. She wanted to shut her mind down a while, to put life back into its proper perspective.

  Normally, she loved having the kids stay and work with the horses, but with every move she made under the green-eyed scrutiny of that suit-wearing number cruncher, everything grated on her nerves tonight. She couldn’t help but wonder how Nathan might overanalyze and interpret her every word and deed.

  She’d told Michael to live for himself; she needed to take her own advice. Her father knew she wanted to rescue horses, even encouraged her to do it. He told her they would take care of the details when he returned from vacation. Jessie shook her head slightly as she opened the back gate, refusing to allow herself to get lost in the sadness that always followed memories of her parents. The only thing she could focus on right now was doing her best to make sure this ranch started making a profit, so she could afford to continue taking in horses to rehabilitate.

  She didn’t want to think about her financial woes anymore tonight. She wanted nothing more than to bask in the comfort of her parents’ home, her home. She stepped into the oasis that made up her backyard. One of the best features of the ranch, it was the one area her parents had splurged on for the pleasure of guests.

  The quiet gurgle of the waterfall releasing into the pool mingled with the soothing chirp of the crickets and the low, throaty hum of the bullfrogs. There were no lights on in the house, so only the stars reflected in the dark water. The symphony of the night enveloped Jessie like a down blanket, making her feel warm and secure.

  A trickle of sweat slid between her breasts as she slumped into one of the lounge chairs circling the pool. Jessie watched the moon’s reflection ripple slightly on the water as a bug landed on the surface. The water called her name, inviting her to take a plunge, to wash away the day’s stresses and doubts. She glanced back at the house, wondering if anyone would notice if she just jumped in, fully clothed. She doubted anyone inside would even care but didn’t want the dust from her clothes in the newly cleaned pool, and skinny-dipping wasn’t an option with so many people around. A few late-night laps were just what she needed to still the hamsters racing on the nonstop treadmill of her worries. Her mind made up, she hurried back to her room and changed into her suit.

  She returned to the pool and dropped a towel on the chaise before diving into the water, letting the cool liquid flow over her skin like satin as she moved to the other end, barely making a sound. She somersaulted underwater, pressing off the wall and gliding back as effortlessly as a dolphin; then she heard a splash and felt someone move past her through the water.

  Jessie bolted upright and swam away from the intruder, reacting without understanding the fear that tightened in her belly. She pressed her back against the tile of the pool wall. “What the—”

  “Sorry. Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

  She swiped the water from her face, pushing the soaked tendrils of her dark hair from her eyes and saw Nathan’s laughing eyes gleaming at her in the moonlight as he held his hands up toward her.

  “What in the hell are you doing out here?” She felt the urge to cross her arms over her chest as she swam backward toward the shallow end of the pool until her feet could touch the bottom. How dare he come into her backyard uninvited? To violate her sanctuary?

  “I just came out for a swim. It was quiet so I assumed everyone was already in bed.”

  Nathan’s brows drooped as he moved toward her, the water only reaching his lower ribs. She didn’t remember him being so tall, or his presence being so imposing. Nathan had always been impressive but now he seemed larger than life. She wasn’t sure what it was about this man that set her so on edge. Or how he could make her stomach feel like it had suddenly broken out with a deadly case of butterflies at the same time. She realized she was still retreating and stopped, standing her ground and arching a brow in defiance.

  “Well, some of us still had work to finish. I’m so sorry I couldn’t take the day off to entertain you.” She swam toward the stairs, dismissing him, but felt a hand gently circle her wrist.

  The butterflies in her stomach took off, beating against her ribs, making it difficult for her to breath. How could his touch still do this to her? How dare he touch her? Her traitorous body had held onto the memories of Nathan without her permission.

  It shouldn’t still bother her that he’d never called, but after the last night they’d spent together, she’d thought it meant something to him, that she’d meant something. But as it turned out, he’d done her a favor. He’d saved her the embarrassment of telling him she loved him, and he’d made it easy to despise him. It sure made him a convenient target for her ire now.

  She shot him a scathing look over her shoulder, then down to his hand still holding her captive.

  “Look, I think we’ve gotten off on the wrong foot, Jess. I’m just here to help you.”

  “Yeah?” Jessie jerked her arm from his grasp. “I don’t remember asking for your help. I don’t need your help, and I don’t want it.”

  “Wow, I remembered you being a pistol, Jessie, but it would have been nice if someone warned me that you’d taken bitchiness to a new level.”

  “Excuse me?” She turned back to him slowly, appalled at his audacity and hoping for his sake she hadn’t heard him correctly.


  “I just don’t understand this whole two-year-old, I’ll-do-it-myself thing.” He shrugged. “It’s obviously not working. I get that you hate me and you’re scared but—”

  She walked toward him, moving through the water, until she stood toe-to-toe, looking up at him, her eyes barely reaching his shoulder. “I am not scared.”

  Nathan noticed she didn’t correct his assumption about him. He let it slide and arched a brow, cocking his head to the side as a grin tugged at the corner of his mouth. “You sure about that?”

  “I’m not.”

  “You’re running a dude ranch, alone I might add. One that normally takes several people to operate. You’ve got no clients booked now and none for the future. This place is sinking faster than the Titanic, and you’re not scared?” He scoffed, his green eyes looking down on her. “You should be scared because, if you’re not, I don’t think I’m going to be able to help you.”

  Jessie took another step toward him and narrowed her eyes. “Did you miss the part where I didn’t ask for your—”

  “I heard you. You don’t want my help,” he mimicked. “But, let’s face it; I’m your best option right now.”

  She turned her back on him and climbed out of the pool. “You’re my only option or you wouldn’t be here. I doubt you can help anyway. If I remember right, you were pretty hopeless the last time you were here. You could barely mend a fence. What do you know about running a dude ranch?”

  “Apparently, almost as much as you do.” She glared at him as she reached for her towel. “Jessie, you might know horses, but I know business. I can save this business, but only if you quit fighting me and cooperate.” Nathan shook his head and followed her out of the pool. “Look, I get that I hurt you. It was never my intention. But it was a long time ago.”

  She laughed, but the sound was sad and bitter, even to her own ears. “Don’t flatter yourself, Nathan.”

  He ran his fingers through his hair. Jessie’s mouth dried up as her eyes followed the water sliding down the planes of his face, the moonlight making shadows over his jawline. She forced herself not to not follow the path of the water any farther than his broad shoulders. She might tell herself that he wasn’t her type anymore, but she was treading into dangerous territory. There was no sense looking for temptation.

  Nathan was walking, talking, raw sexual attraction, and she was sure he used it to bend women to his will often. Her body might not know the difference between the past and the present, but Jessie wasn’t about to let his sexy smile and hard muscles distract her focus again. She wasn’t the same innocent girl who had believed in fairy tales eight years ago. He’d taught her a lesson she wasn’t likely to forget.

  “I’m sorry. I owe you that. After I left here, things got . . . complicated. I was wrong not to call.”

  How long had she wanted to hear those words? She realized she’d been staring at the planes of his chest, highlighted by the moonlight. She flicked her eyes up to meet his, trying to get her brain operating again.

  “I’m surprised you never told Justin.”

  “Of course not! What should I tell him? That his best friend seduced me and then left without another word?” She moved to stand in front of him and poked a finger against the solid wall of his chest. “Besides, I didn’t see the point after you turned your back on him, too. I didn’t think he’d be stupid enough to ever trust your lying ass again.”

  “That wasn’t what happened.” His voice was husky, seductively mesmerizing as his fingers brushed over the back of her hand.

  She could barely make out his face in the near darkness, but she could feel the gentle invitation in his touch. It transported her back in time. To a time when she was young and trusting and naïve. A time when she believed in love that could withstand any trial.

  She tried to ignore the grief and the loneliness that washed over her. It made her wish Nathan would make the first move, that he would wrap his arms around her, allow her to bury her face against his chest and seek the comfort she longed for, if only for a moment. The isolation she’d felt for the past few months filled her and tears threatened, burning at the back of her eyes.

  Damn it, she couldn’t cry in front of this man, or anyone else, just because she felt a little sad. She quickly pulled her hand away from his grasp. She didn’t need sympathy. She didn’t want it, especially from this man. She just wanted him to go away.

  She could almost hear her father’s voice. Cowgirl up, Jess.

  As if sensing the change in her demeanor, Nathan laughed quietly. “Don’t worry, Jessie, your secret’s safe with me. I won’t tell anyone you aren’t always a hard ass.”

  Jessie smiled sweetly before lifting her hands and giving him a quick shove backward.

  Droplets of water splashed over her feet as he fell into the deep end of the pool. She heard him rise to the surface, sputtering and cursing. She wrapped her towel around her waist.

  “I don’t know what my brother told you, but neither of you has any idea about what is best for me or this ranch. I have plans, and neither one of you is going to mess them up. Enjoy your swim, Mr. Kerrington.”

  Once again, she left him behind, heading into the house without giving him to opportunity to have the last word. Exactly the way she wanted it.

  Chapter Five

  NATHAN RUBBED HIS tired eyes. The sun was just starting to climb over the horizon and peek through the trees, but he’d already been up for several hours. He had just polished off his third cup of coffee when Jessie made her way into the kitchen.

  She barely glanced his way as she walked by. “Been up a while?”

  He was surprised she said anything, but at least she seemed friendlier this morning. Then again, why wouldn’t she be as chipper as hell after shoving him into the pool last night? “Since about four a.m. I was just getting ready to start another pot if you want me to do it.”

  “I’ll get it.” She reached for a mug and poured what was left in the pot into her cup before adding cream, sipping it as she started brewing a new pot. “Why are you up so early? I know we get up with the chickens but I thought you city boys liked your sleep. And why are you in my kitchen instead of your cabin?”

  He let her veiled insult slide. He didn’t even want to attempt to verbally spar with her when he was this tired. It was just easier to be civil. After his dunking last night, he wouldn’t put it past her to dump the coffee over his head. “I started there, but I wanted to catch you before you got too busy this morning. Justin stopped by and let me in before he headed to the clinic.” He held up a file folder. “I thought maybe we could go over some of these files today. Most importantly, the profit-loss statements for the ranch for the past few years.”

  She glanced back at him over her shoulder before topping off her coffee with the fresh brew, and her eyes clouded with suspicion. “I don’t have time. There are other things that are more urgent today.”

  “More important than figuring out where your money is going? Why it’s disappearing so quickly with nothing to show for it?”

  Jessie sighed and turned to glare at him, leaning one hip against the counter. “I have three horses coming in this morning, and I need to evaluate them. If I get finished with them early enough, I’ll meet with you, okay?”

  Nathan folded his hands over the spreadsheets covering the surface of the kitchen table and met her gaze. He could be just as stubborn as she was. He would figure out a way to reach her, some sort of compromise that would gain her trust again. He was here to help her, not Justin or his own reputation, but for some reason, she was still balking at his help.

  “I’ll tell you what, why don’t we talk about these files over dinner? That way you can finish your work.” Leaving her with no other excuse for avoiding him.

  “Dinner?” Her brows arched high on her forehead in surprise, but she ducked her chin and tried to hide it by sipping her coffee. “I don’t think so. You might ply me with a little liquor and convince me to cuddle with you again.”

  It
was a low blow. It was supposed to be a reminder of what happened the night before he left, but that wasn’t the way he remembered it, not even close. She might have been only eighteen, but the one bottle of beer they’d shared hadn’t impaired her judgment. By the time they’d made love that night, she’d been completely sober. Sober enough that when he tried to stay in control, she’d clung to him like a lifeline, her body hot against his, and he couldn’t fight any longer.

  “It’s pretty hard to cuddle with a porcupine,” he retorted.

  She lowered her mug and pursed her lips, but he didn’t wait for her reply.

  “Look, Jessie, I promise, this is entirely about the ranch. I’m trying to figure out how to bring Heart Fire back into the black, but I need to find out from you which expenses are nonnegotiable. Like this stable mix—what is it and why does it cost so much?”

  She chewed at the inside of her lower lip and took a deep breath, looking suddenly unsure and, for the first time since his arrival, slightly vulnerable. “Fine. But only on one condition.”

  He crossed his arms over his chest, not wanting to appear too acquiescent. “That depends.”

  “Before you go making any recommendations, I want you to see the horses coming in today and watch the evaluation. Then we can talk about the future of the ranch.”

  “Why?”

  She took another sip from the mug. “You’ll see, but it’s the only way I’ll agree to do this.”

  He wasn’t about to waste the rare opportunity to gain this stubborn woman’s cooperation. It didn’t to come easily or often. “Fine, tell me what I need to do.”

  She twisted her mouth to the side, trying to hide a smirk as her eyes slid over him. “The first thing you need to do is change into something suitable for working outside.”