Heart's Desire Read online

  JESSIE FELT HER heart shoot into the heavens and burst like one of the stars in the night sky. She was certain that every one of the guests could see it happen. She wasn’t sure she believed they really had a chance at making this work. She wanted to ask him how it would even be possible. Before she could speak, his mouth found hers, sending her senses spiraling into the sky with her heart. She didn’t want to talk, didn’t want to argue, she only wanted him. Her arms curled around his shoulders, and the kiss quickly turned from gently seeking to intense and feverish, leaving her breathless when the teens’ laughter broke through the haze of their yearning.

  A slow blush crept over her cheeks, burning her face, and she was grateful no one could see them. “I should get back.”

  “Why? Bailey is taking care of everyone. She insisted we have dessert and a little privacy under the stars.”

  Bailey had no idea how much this meant to Jessie—or maybe she did. Either way, Jessie owed her big time. She would need to thank her cousin appropriately for the gift. Jessie scooted to Nathan’s side and curled herself against his chest, her fingers toying absently with the front of his shirt, and smiled up at him.

  “I’ll agree to a few minutes, but you have to keep this PG. I don’t want my guests to wonder what sort of a ranch I run.”

  He chuckled and pulled her closer, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “No promises.”

  Jessie sighed, content for the moment simply to be in his arms. Knowing he planned on returning as soon as possible made it easier to let herself relish the complete adoration she had for him. She didn’t kid herself, thinking he felt the same way she did—why would a man like Nathan fall in love with a mousey cowgirl with dirt under her nails—but knowing he cared was enough for now. Still, a nagging doubt gnawed at the edges of her mind. He’d promised to return before and had never come back.

  “What are you thinking about?” he asked as he brushed a few waves back from her face and looked down at her.

  “Nothing.”

  Nathan grinned. “Liar.”

  She returned his smile. “Fine,” she said, sighing dramatically. “I’m wondering how soon it might be before you are able to come back.”

  “I have a couple of meetings early in the week, and then I need to meet with my father before I leave New York and head back to LA to check on my place there.” She tried to catch the frown before he noticed it. “What?”

  Wearing Wranglers, boots, and denim shirts made it easy to forget that he was worth a small fortune and how important his family was. But listening to him talk about business trips and his jet-setting lifestyle with the upper elite and his family, she wasn’t sure there was any room in his life for a struggling horse trainer. She pinched her lips together and shook her head.

  “Jess,” he warned, tipping her chin up so she was forced to meet his gaze. “Don’t go second-guessing me—us. Let’s take this one day at a time. Right now, that means enjoying the stars in the back of your truck with eight teenagers pretending not to watch us from their campfire.”

  She eyed the group, gathered around the fire, laughing at one another. Bailey was doing a great job keeping everyone entertained, but people were definitely taking notice of the couple in the back of the truck. She could make out the soft smile on Susanne’s face and the wink Bailey shot her. She only wished she felt as confident about their relationship as everyone else seemed to.

  SUNDAY AFTERNOON, AS Jessie watched as the kids climbed onto the beat-up bus to head back home, Susanne came up and gave her a quick hug.

  “We had so much fun. I’m so glad you were able to do this for us.”

  Jessie smiled back at her. It had been emotionally trying to do without her parents, but the group reminded her how much she enjoyed the presence of guests, watching others love her home almost as much as she did. However, this part was exactly what she didn’t like about the dude ranch—saying good-bye.

  “I’m so glad you guys came. I hope we’ll see you again soon.”

  Susanne winked. “Of course you will. We have a winter camp for the kids as well, and this place would be beautiful with a small dusting of snow.”

  Jessie laughed. “Well, that’s about all we get most years, but it’s plenty as far as I’m concerned.”

  Steve and Nathan finished loading the luggage into the bottom compartment of the bus and Steve clapped his hands together. “You about ready, wife?”

  “Oh, I forgot my purse in the cabin. Jessie, why don’t you walk with me to go get it?”

  Steve rolled his eyes as he turned toward Nathan. “Women. They can never keep track of anything.”

  “Pshhhh, you hush,” she replied, waving a hand his way. She didn’t leave Jessie a chance to refuse as she put an arm around her waist and dragged her toward the cabin. As they arrived on the porch, Susanne faced Jessie. “I didn’t really forget my purse. I just didn’t want everyone to hear.”

  “Hear what?”

  “That man loves you, and I think you love him.”

  “What?” Jessie wasn’t sure what to say to Susanne’s bold, and obviously irrational, statement. “Nathan? No, we’re just . . . ” What were they? Was Nathan her boyfriend? It seemed to simple and explanation for how she felt. “I don’t exactly know what we are.”

  Susanne laughed quietly. “Yeah, Steve and I were like that once, too. I don’t mean to meddle, but I can see you two care about each other very much. I’d hate to see you waste too much time fighting it. Trust me. From my experience, it’s not worth the fight. It just wastes time and hurts.”

  “It’s complicated.”

  “When isn’t it?” she said, laughing again. “Whatever the complication, you can work through it if you love each other enough.”

  And there is our problem—we don’t love each other—I love him.

  There was no sense in denying it any longer. She loved Nathan Kerrington. She’d never stopped. From the moment he’d first stepped on the ranch eight years ago, he’d shattered every preconceived notion of what love should look like. He still turned her world on its head, but she realized she didn’t want it any other way.

  She loved the way he didn’t balk at her temper, the way he could see through her moods to figure out what was underneath, the way he could bring out every emotion she tried to hide. He saw past the front she put up for everyone, moved past it to appreciate the woman behind the mask. Nathan had seen something in her no one had ever tried to find before—not her family and not her friends—and had shown her it was okay to be herself, to want and need and desire something for herself instead of sacrificing every part of her for others. And her heart didn’t seem to beat fully unless he was around.

  Susanne smiled and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. “You should see your face right now. It says it all.” She shook her head and looked back toward the bus. “You need to tell him whatever it was you were just thinking. He needs to hear it.”

  They walked back to the bus, and Susanne gave her one last hug before getting on the bus with the kids. Steve shook Nathan’s hand and reached for Jessie’s. “It was a pleasure to stay here, Jessie. Be sure to save us a week for winter camp. I’ll have Susanne call and set it up, if that’s okay.”

  “I’d love that.”

  “Drive careful, Steve,” Nathan said.

  “I will.” The man eyed Jessie and met Nathan’s gaze again. “And you remember what I said.”

  Jessie was curious about the interchange but didn’t want to pry, any more than she wanted Nathan to ask her what Susanne had said. Nathan moved closer and slid his arm around her waist, pulling her to his side as they waved at the departing bus. His fingers slid down to twine with hers.

  “Alone at last.” She could read the wicked gleam in his eyes, as the green flecks practically glowed with heat.

  She laughed, and put one hand against his chest. “Hardly. Bailey is cleaning the cabins, and the guys are in the barn. Not to mention, Aleta is coming back later tonight.”

  His head droppe
d forward, his chin against his chest, as he sighed loudly. “And here I thought I had you all to myself.”

  She laughed at his mock disappointment. “Come on, let’s go get something started for these guys to eat. They’re going to be raiding the kitchen if we don’t feed them soon.” She shook her head at him. “Once we get them out, you can have me all to yourself.”

  Nathan spun her into his arms, walking backward with her in his embrace. He tipped her chin up before pressing a quick kiss to her lips. “You have yourself a deal.”

  THE KNOCK ON his office door surprised Justin. He hadn’t scheduled any appointments after lunch, so he could sneak in a few minutes to gather his weekly receipts for Brendon when he headed into town later in the week.

  Brendon’s head peered around the edge of the door. “You mind if I come in? I wanted to talk to you about Jessie.”

  Speak of the devil, Justin thought.

  “Aw, man,” Justin said with a groan. “We’ve already had this discussion. She just wasn’t interested.”

  Brendon slumped into one of the chairs in front of Justin’s desk and waved him off. “I know that, although I still wish she’d give me another shot.” He lifted his booted feet to the edge of Justin’s desk and crossed them at the ankles. “I was wondering how much you know about this Kerrington guy. How much do you really trust him?”

  Justin paused his perusal of a receipt and set it aside. “He was my roommate in college. He’s one of my best friends. I trust him. Why?” Justin could feel a headache coming on and rubbed his thumb against his temple.

  “I don’t know. Dad didn’t like him at all.” Brendon shrugged a shoulder. “I just . . . I couldn’t shake this feeling there was more to him, so I looked up a few things when we left your place the other day.” He reached into his briefcase and pulled a folder out, dropping it over the pile of receipts in front of Justin. “His family has a pretty colorful record—several indictments for fraud and conspiracy. His father’s got tax evasion charges against him now. Is this really the guy you want giving you business advice?”

  Justin looked over the documents and printed-out newspaper stories. Nathan told him years ago that he’d never been close to his father, but one of the articles showed him at an event with his arm around his father’s shoulders. They’d been out of college for years, only staying in touch by phone. It was a long time and people changed dramatically in less, but he couldn’t believe that Nathan would cheat him.

  “I called him, not the other way around.” Justin frowned as he pushed the folder back toward Brendon. “Just because his father’s a crook, doesn’t mean he’s one. He’s a financial analyst.”

  “So?”

  “So, I’m sure there are much more lucrative businesses he works with, and could steal from if he wanted to, rather than a failing dude ranch. He’s already worth a small fortune.”

  “Justin, we both know Heart Fire Ranch is worth a boat load of cash, even struggling. Land can be pretty tempting. If he could get his hands on it . . . maybe seduce either of your sisters? I’m sure that money would go a long way toward paying his father’s attorney fees. Why use his own money when he can use yours, or your sisters’? Not to mention that some of his ideas, they aren’t what’s best for your family.”

  “Like what?”

  “Well, like stopping payments to Heart Fire Industries, for one. I didn’t want to hurt her, but your father wanted to set those payments up so that Jessie didn’t drain all three of you dry with these horses of hers. You’ve seen how much of a toll they’ve taken on the finances in just a few months.”

  Justin wanted to disprove Brendon’s theory, but he couldn’t get his conversation with Nathan over breakfast this morning out of his mind. He couldn’t still the nagging doubts circling his mind.

  Brendon’s feet hit the floor as he leaned forward, bracing his elbows on his knees. “You know him better than I do. But you know what they say about the apple not falling far from the tree.” He stood up to leave. “Just keep an eye on Jessie. I’d hate to see her get hurt if this guy is using her. Who knows what he’s telling her when you’re working here at the clinic?”

  Brendon glanced at the receipts Justin had been sorting. “Did you want me to take those with me?”

  “No, I’m not finished with them.” Justin walked Brendon to the front of the office, holding open the door. “Hey, Brendon, thanks for keeping an eye out for us. It means a lot.”

  “Anytime, bro. You know I’ve always got your back.”

  Justin watched as Brendon slid into the driver’s seat of his Mercedes and pulled back out onto the main highway. He didn’t like the suspicion twisting in his gut, demanding answers for questions he hadn’t thought to ask. How could he have just assumed Nathan was the same as he had been in college? They were both different now, older, wiser, more worldly.

  The news clipping of Nathan with his father haunted Justin. They looked pretty cozy for men who didn’t get along. He grabbed his keys and flipped the closed sign on the door. He wanted to get home and talk with Jessie. A little reassurance from her would go a long way to settling the unease beginning to gnaw at him.

  AS USUAL, LUNCH was a chaotic fiasco filled with laughter and good-natured ribbing. Mitch and Clint acted more like twin brothers than friends. Jessie reminded herself to call Jennifer to ask about hiring them. Bailey, as was her custom, was a complete smart-ass but Jessie was beginning to wonder if there wasn’t something more than friendship brewing between her and the quiet Clint. She found it difficult to imagine her cousin dating a cowboy, especially after all the years of her complaining about them.

  Jessie rinsed off the last plate and slid it into the dishwasher before wiping her hands with the towel on the sink. She turned toward the table where Nathan was seated, watching her. She’d felt his eyes following her all through lunch.

  Jessie felt like a fumbling idiot when she’d dropped several bottles of water out of the refrigerator and then followed them with the mayonnaise container. Nathan’s knowing chuckle didn’t do anything to lessen the nervous shiver of yearning that shook her, but when she met his gaze, she could read the same longing in the heated desire she saw in his eyes. She leaned back against the island, her hands at her lower back.

  “Well, I’m going to head over to the clinic,” Bailey announced. “Unless you want me to stick around.” She arched a brow at her cousin, a playful smile curving her lips.

  “I think we can manage. Thanks, Bailey.”

  “I’ll just bet you will,” she teased. Bailey headed for the back door. “Have fun!”

  She’d no more closed the door when Jessie crooked a finger at Nathan.

  “You think that’s all it takes, woman?” he asked.

  “Absolutely.” It felt good to tease him, to laugh and enjoy the new ground they were breaking on their relationship.

  Nathan moved toward her, his arms wrapping around her waist, lifting her from the floor onto the island and stepping between her thighs. “This has been the longest two days ever. I can’t wait to get you upstairs.”

  Heat seemed to course between them, igniting an impatient demand in her. She wanted him, minus his clothing, right now. She cupped his jaw between her hands and dragged him toward her, biting his lower lip gently. “What are you waiting for?”

  Nathan growled and captured her mouth, his tongue dancing with hers, sending her senses twisting in a tornado of desire. She clutched at his back, begging him to take her without words.

  “What in the hell?” Justin yelled from the doorway.

  Jessie jerked backward in surprise, but Nathan held his hand against her cheek for another moment before turning and standing in front of her, protecting her from the full brunt of her brother’s wrath.

  “I told you to stay away from my sister.” Justin clenched his fists at his side, and Jessie could see the dark fury in his eyes. Why would Justin care who she dated? It was none of his business.

  “It’s not what you think, Justin.”


  “Sure it’s not. I know all about your father’s trouble with the law. Is she just a pawn to help you get him out of trouble, a way to get your hands on the ranch? Some kind of publicity stunt?” His eyes flicked to Jessie’s. “Or maybe she’s just another notch on your bedpost?”

  Nathan held his hands up as Justin approached. “I know you’re upset, Justin, but I’m not after the ranch. I don’t need your money.”

  Jessie slid from the island and stood by Nathan. “Justin, stop.”

  “Really?” he went on, ignoring her. “I had a visitor at the clinic today. He gave me a quick rundown of our financial situation, how stopping payments could ruin the rest of us, and how Heart Fire Industries was set up because my father wanted to make sure that Heart Fire Ranch and my sister’s kind heart didn’t drain us all into oblivion. Then I get here and find you groping her. He warned me you were going to try to use her.”

  Jessie’s mouth dropped open in shock at the accusation in her brother’s words. “Brendon?”

  Nathan clenched his jaw hard enough for the muscle in his temple to tick. “And you trust him? Over me?”

  “He’s not the one trying to screw my sister. He also isn’t trying to fund a defense for his father against fraud charges.” Jessie looked up at Nathan in shock. “Oh, you didn’t know about that, Jess? Then you probably don’t know about the fact that this isn’t the first time. His family has quite the record.” Justin shoved against Nathan’s chest, knocking him back a step. “I thought you said you didn’t talk to them. The picture I saw in the paper, the one of you and your father during his campaign last year, looked pretty chummy.”

  “Is that true?” Jessie took a step away from him.

  “Justin, you’ve always been my best friend. You have no idea what risk I’m taking to help you, what could happen if it comes out that I’m here. Why would I try to con you?”

  Justin looked at Jessie. “If it’s so dangerous for us, then why did you come?” Nathan’s eyes dropped on Jessie. “Her?”